Little Bits of me, Katie!

Celebrate the rain

2009-06-06T20:52:00.003-05:00

I borrowed a camera to play with. It was technically not as good a camera as my old one but - I really enjoyed playing with it!

I adopted out another filly today. She, Echo, went to a great home.Sometimes it can be difficult to let them go. I know, though, that they are offering her a better life. I say that because she will be an only child - and - they fell in love with her at first sight. I've come to realize that being a foster parent is all about love and letting go. Fortunately, I also have a standing invitation to go see her.

At the cabin I am continuing my quest to de-clutter my life... I was amazed at how many unread books I actually owned. For the most part - if I read a book, I pass it on. I haven't been reading as much lately though.

Enjoy your weekend!
with love and light, Katie

They say...and other misc. thoughts

2009-06-03T16:12:00.005-05:00

They say that every so many years one starts over... a new j.o.b. perhaps, a new direction.... I have a lot of wonderful people in my life , a lot of love. I am fortunate.

My camera died, that was sad. But it allowed me to take some really cool shots during the past 2 years. I love photography. I am already drooling over a new one ( ok, I'm always in a state of drool over a camera... lol ).

I've been out of work due to the rain. But, it has offered me time to go through a lot of my photos online and start organizing. This is a good thing! Plus, I'm going through "stuff" at the cabin so I can get rid of the clutter.

I realize ( as so many peeps like to point out to me - I'm horse poor! lol ) that if I hadn't saved 6 horses from slaughter last year, I'd have bought a really nice laptop by now. I shan't complain though - as they are sooo worth every cent! They are all doing well.... a couple even have wonderful new homes. It is difficult to say goodby to them , but forever homes is a fabulous gift.

My dogs are brats. All 4 of them.

Simone, the beautiful kitten is as wild as a mad hatter. Poca Polka is the Queen of cats... she rules.

I'm going to head back to the cabin to work on a few projects . :) plus I'm starving!

BE WELL !
love KT

Thinking back...and rambling thoughts

2009-05-20T19:21:00.004-05:00

I thought that after I returned from NYC I was going to be blogging more. The weather was terrible ( here and there actually ) . Swamped by playing catch up.... bad weather... do shorter days mean less gets done? I don't know. Then my younger sister was killed in a car accident. When Gary was killed I was numb for almost a month.... maybe because I was with him... Funerals and estates take a lot of everything... physical/mental strength....I cry at the oddest times....then it was her birthday........ life gets chaotic at times...issues at the j.ob.s.....

Having said all that though, I doing well enough....I quit both jobs recently, started my own side company ( I'm working outside! Yay!!!!! ) , and began working doing remodeling , etc. in the family company... ( inside and out! Yay!!!! ) I really have a great life... I love Montana!

I took notice of the feng shui at the cabin ( after listening to a feng shui expert...lol.. and listening to Dave & Bobbi on the radio giving tips on relationships... haha ) and realized that although my girls wished that I would date..and friends keep trying to hook me up, I was defintely not open to it. I have one comfortable chair at my cabin..and in my little closet there is no space for anyone else's clothes. Those signs made me laugh. No sense in going through any motions when one's heart's not in it!

My horses and dogs are doing well. I gave the roan colt Riley to a lovely young teacher - about 140 miles away. He has a fabulous new home.

I'm leaving for MI at the end of July... so between now and then I expect to be catching up with everyone ! :)

Thoughts

2009-02-14T20:06:00.003-06:00

Poca Polka with Pez

Pez

Simone

I find myself amazed at how much time has disappeared since my last post. So many thoughts, so many events, so much that truly doesn't matter. I laugh at myself. I've missed blogging, yes. Missed reading your blogs.

I work a lot. In my downtime I'm at the cabin sleeping, or running with my dogs.. or training 3 of the 5 colts. Sometimes I'm not even sure where the time goes... it simply flows away like a seeping well. I workout every day . I laugh every day. I smile and explore something new or different every day. Quietly. Alone. I love being alone . That perhaps is the toughest thing for people to understand/accept about me. Part of it is perhaps, simply my nature. However, part of the reason I choose to be the way I am is - I work with the public on average - 50 hours a week. Hours of noise, static if you will.... Although I am also fortunate - I like a lot of the clientele and they like me. Still, the radio plays, the machinery hums, people chatter, babies cry and it's a fast paced rat race where people are often rude, and stupid. and Yes ...stupid is a mean word.. I spend every other weekend or so with family members ( preferably only a couple at a time... lol... ).

Sometimes at night I read a book, work on various projects and remember when.... I owned a computer and blogged every day. I've out grown the cabin and am keeping my eyes out for a bigger place. I've adopted out all but the 2 cats now - Pez went to Paula's today. I named him Pez. Someone informed me that pez meant fish.. I asked him what his point was. Simone is wild and beautiful as always. I had the vet spay her and Poca Polka yesterday. Shots updated. I'm taking the 4 dogs in next weekend for their shots. The horses were mostly all ( 2 are still running wild ) wormed and will be vaccinated April 1st. I find April Fool's day easy to remember. It's a day full of irony.

So many times I'd write a blog in my head... knowing that by the time I made it to a computer the moment would be lost ... and most likely forgotten. Dates flow by.... and time ... almost seems to lose all meaning... yet.. I remember.. and think of you.

Saying hello

2008-09-13T06:20:00.005-05:00

Meet the Wild bunch!

Echo ( bay roan filly with the stripe ) Shasta ( strawberry roan ) and the stud colt who remains unnamed so far. They are not even halter broke to lead nor allow anyone to touch them .

Charlie the Arab x here with Red Sonia - she's already been placed in a good home.

I miss reading your blogs over coffee. My lifestyle continues to remain fairly quiet and simple. I adopted a handful of horses that were headed to slaughter so most of my free time is spent with them and my other horses . These shots are of Selena.

Today..

2008-07-22T21:04:00.002-05:00

I often think about you all, wondering how everyone is doing. Knowing that there will be changes in you - much like there are within myself.

Living in the cabin has been and continues to be wonderful. I live a very simple lifestyle. I have a solar shower. :) Going back to the basics of basics.. my life has slowed down tremendously.

I used to wonder if the computer kept me from being social.. the reality is that I'm even less so away .

Despite the lack of computer ( and my inability to blog due to blogger hiccups ) I know that the break away has been healthy, changing me in a variety of tiny ways. I ride my bike a lot, my horses.. I spend most of my free time outside exploring nature and self. I've let go and gained insight, felt mystified and childlike... and laughed.... giggling at my shadowplay... realizing that not much matters outside of going in a good way.

Hoping the best for you and yours,

with love and light,

Katie

Moving

2008-05-27T08:44:00.002-05:00

This is my new home. I'm moving to the cabin within the next couple of weeks. Actually , I'm mostly moved in - just not organized and I need to fence in the property for my dogs. I do not have computer access there, no TV , but I do have a great view and my horses in the pasture down below. The arena is to the right... lol... the important details.

Pompey's Pillar

2008-04-18T20:40:00.006-05:00

Pompeys Pillar National Monument
(1863) The first recorded observation of Captain Clark's signature on Pompeys Pillar was by James Stuart, Montana pioneer and leader of a gold prospecting party down the Yellowstone valley.
(1873) Lt. Col. George Armstrong Custer's troops were camped opposite the Pillar, and while the men were refreshing themselves with a swim, the Sioux Indians fired upon them.
(1875) Grant Marsh, Captain of the steamboat Josephine, recorded in his log that he saw Clark's signature.
(1882) The Northern Pacific Railroad placed an iron grate over the signature as a means of protection. In 1954, the Foote family (former owners of the site) replaced the grate with the present brass and glass case.
(2001) Pompeys Pillar National Monument was established and placed under the management of the Secretary of the Interior through the Bureau of Land Management.
Pompeys Pillar is one of the most famous sandstone buttes in America. It bears the only remaining physical evidence of the Lewis and Clark Expedition, which appears on the trail today as it did 200 years ago. On the face of the 150-foot butte, Captain William Clark carved his name on July 25, 1806, during his return to the United States through the beautiful Yellowstone Valley.
Captain Clark named the pillar "Pompeys Tower" in honor of Sacagawea's son Jean Baptiste Charbonneau, whom he had nicknamed "Pomp." Nicholas Biddle, first editor of Lewis and Clark's journals, changed the name to "Pompeys Pillar."
Native Americans called the pillar "the place where the mountain lion lies." Some observers suggest that a sandstone formation, that is a part of the pillar, which resembles a mountain lion's head, is the reason for the name. Another theory cites live mountain lions being spotted in the area.

Recent Short Odd Conversations and other thoughts.

2008-04-10T18:23:00.007-05:00

Her :"What do you think about that?"

me: "I don't."

Her: "How's it going?"

Me : "Define "It"."

Him "You know you're dying."

me.." Yeah you DF.. I started dying the day I was born."

Death, is an odd event on so many levels. Most of the time , it's not like we can hash it over after it's done. For most people it's an unknown moment in an unknown place.. others know why but not the when . Some people get time limits. What's scarier? Shrugging.. I contend it is not living at all. Most people are more afraid of pain than the actual death I think. Sometimes people just get tired.. their bodies wear out ..their hopes shriveling with the last remnants of their dreams... My gram just says she's old. My adopted mum just says she's "ok" no matter what you ask her after surviving two bouts of two different cancers.

Are You living your dream? Do you dream? I started dreaming Again. It is interesting to think that my dreams of my childhood and my recent dreams are almost identical. I still have time.

Speaking of time....I was speeding down the road... only 78 ? I think... so not unreasonable. I keep waiting to get pulled over so when the cop asks me ," Do you know how fast you were going?" I can answer , "Evidently not fast enough." I still have time. Don't ask me why this thought amuses me so much but it does. I made it to 12 mile Rd yesterday from the j.o.b. in 10 minutes which is my new record. I've been told I'm crazy. There was this block ? wreck? going on Main St yesterday so I went around that section the back way and there was no traffic. A perfect time to let it fly. If I had a really fast car I bet I could make it in 7.

Some People think I'm a little depressed these days.. I'm not blogging nor writing...I'm really not though. I'm quiet, true. I'm also tired a lot of the time. I keep busy .. doing a bit of this and a little of that. ;) and then there's work which is really a lot of fun.

Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well.

With love and light,

Katie

Speaking for the animals..

2008-03-31T08:31:00.002-05:00

http://mckatie.wordpress.com/

Some of you might not remember I have a blog on word press that I started when I wanted to speak on issues of animal injustice, animal cruelities... There's a lot going on besides the mustangs.. the cruel methods of slaughter ( they are still being skinned, scalded, dismembered ALIVE!!!! ) , the hunting of the gray wolves ...

When I read these articles, see these news clips ... all I can think is "Damn.. and we think we, the people, are civilized? "

Why the organizations opposing the American Horse Slaughter Prevention Act are wrong.

2008-03-19T18:13:00.001-05:00

Why the organizations opposing the American Horse Slaughter Prevention Act are wrong.

March 19, 2008a paper by Duane L. Burright
IntroductionAs a horse owner, I have been involved in the fight to end horse slaughter in the United States since 2003. This task should be easy considering that Americans hold the horse in high regard, but believe me when I say this has been one of the biggest challenges I have ever faced. The American Horse Slaughter Prevention Act (AHSPA) has been pending in Congress for several years now but certain politicians, and groups claiming to know what is best for horses, stand in our way. Those groups are the American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA), the American Quarter Horse Association (AQHA) and certain agricultural interests (mainly beef and pork producers); the politicians include Rep. Bob Goodlatte (R-VA), former Rep. Charles Stenholm (D-TX), and Senator Larry Craig (R-ID).But the arguments used by these groups and individuals are not based on fact. Every statement they make is easily disputed.A woman named Mary Nash once told me that the best way to fight the pro-slaughter side's myths is with facts which can not be disputed. Unfortunately, Mary lost her battle with cancer in July of 2005. Over the years, I have come to know the following facts about the horse slaughter trade. - The horse slaughter trade is really about supply and demand, not saving "unwanted horses" from neglect or abuse. - The ban on horse slaughter is not a "vegetarian agenda" to ban the processing of beef, pork, chicken or other meat which is culturally accepted here in the US. - In the United States, horses are not regulated as food animals. - The horse slaughter industry is neither good for the local or national economy. - When confronted with facts the pro-slaughter side either repeats their claims or attempts to deceive the public. - The horse is a strong part of American culture.A few years ago, I read a White Paper commissioned by the Thoroughbred Retirement Foundation called "Horse Slaughter: An Unnecessary Evil." The title of that paper pretty much sums it up since horse slaughter is completely unnecessary in the United States.The Supply and Demand AngleThe favored argument of the AVMA and AQHA is that if horse slaughter is banned horse welfare will suffer in the form of abandoned horses and horse neglect, but they fail to take into consideration USDA statistics which show that their dire claims have not happened in the past. Instead, these statistics show a business driven by supply and demand rather than unwanted horses.The statistics that I mention come from the USDA;, they show that there was a sharp decline in the number of US horses slaughtered during the 1990s. According to these records there were 345,700 horses slaughtered for export in 1990; 10 years later in 2000 that number was 50,400. During this timeframe the number of horses slaughtered per year dropped by as many as 79,000.Interestingly, there was no evidence of a rash of "unwanted horses." We did not see newspaper articles telling tales of starving abandoned horses.Fast forward to now. Since 2002, there has been a steady increase in the number of horses slaughtered in the United States. In 2007, well over 120,000 American horses have been slaughtered for export to Belgium, France and other countries where horse meat is popular. This is due to increased demand, as evidenced by this excerpt from the article "France's horsemeat lovers fear US ban" which appeared in The Guardian on June 15, 2007."In France, the news has caused concern. 'It's serious, the US is a big part of our supply,' says Timothé Masson from Interbev Equins, an organisation of French horsemeat industries. Sales of horsemeat in France rose by 2.1% in 2005-2006, the first upturn in years. Tastings, supermarket campaigns and marketing drives have increased consumption of what was once a cheap, working-class food in Paris and the mining areas of north-east France.Although only a handful of restaurants still serve horse in the French capital, Masson's group is working to convince more chefs. It is also targeting the public with monthly recipe suggestions, such as sliced horse with tabbouleh."Masson is also on record as saying that the estimated increase for 2007 is 3% and that official 2007 statistics for the French horsemeat industry will be released in mid-2008. Through clever marketing, people like Masson are creating increased demand.Since there is a trend of increasing overseas demand for horsemeat, the slaughterhouses had to supply that demand. According to USDA records, horses were regularly imported from Canada into the US for slaughter to fill that demand. Take a look at these statistics:2005 - 7,865 horses imported for slaughter in the US2006 - 4,022 horses imported for slaughter in the US2007 - 2,488 horses imported for slaughter in the USHow can there be an "unwanted horse problem" if the slaughterhouses have to import them from across the border? I would really like to see the AQHA and AVMA answer this question.Statistics do not lie. They show that the horse slaughter industry exists in the US for one reason, to make a large profit satisfying Europe's voracious appetite for American horsemeat. It has nothing to do with saving "unwanted horses" from neglect.The "slippery slope" of the agricultural worldIn an August 2006 alert, the Livestock Marketing Association (LMA) said this about the AHSPA: "This bill may be only the first in a series of bills pushing the animal rights agenda restricting the consumption of meat and the private property rights of livestock producers. Banning a legitimate livestock product for reasons other than food safety or public health is a very slippery slope that the Congress must not be allowed to go down."This claim itself is absurd and only truly weak minds would believe it; a majority of the House of Representatives obviously did not since they passed the AHSPA by a landslide in 2006. But we do have those few in the Congress who support this agenda, and they have managed to block the bill in the Senate (which means it's not law yet).It's easy to see the fallacy of the LMA's claims if one also considers that the horsemeat trade is illegal in three states in the Union. In 1998 California passed a law which banned the horse meat trade by voter referendum. Last year a similar law was signed into law in Illinois and the horse meat ban was upheld by the Texas legislature. Despite these laws protecting horses people in those states can still go down to the local butcher and buy hamburger, tri tip, pork sausage and chicken.Polls show that a majority of Americans are against horse slaughter because it's not part of our culture, however many of us do eat beef, pork and chicken since those foods are part of America's cultural norm. I myself know a farmer in Virginia who is against horse slaughter, but he raises Boer meat goats for slaughter as well as raising beef cattle. Reality shows that the slippery slope claims of the agricultural world will not happen. Here's a small sampling of the agricultural groups who are against the AHSPA: The National Cattlemen's Beef Association, the American Meat Institute, the National Pork Producers Council and the National Turkey Federation. Now I'm sure that these groups do beef, pork and poultry well; but they have nothing to do with horses. Rather than worrying about the AHSPA, they would better serve our nation by seeing to our nation's food supply.Horses, not regulated as food animalsSomething that the AVMA and the horse slaughter business have never addressed is the fact that horses are not regulated as food animals in the United States.Practically every horse owner routinely treats their horse with products such as Zimectrin (a dewormer), Phenylbutazone (the aspirin of the horse world) and fly sprays; these products are clearly labeled "Not For Use On Animals Raised For Food." Meat tainted with these products can cause nasty long-term side effects in human consumers such as cancer, which is why federal regulations forbid they be administered to beef cattle, poultry or hogs.Since no such regulations or safeguards exist to prevent these products being given to slaughterbound horses it's likely that tainted horsemeat is being shipped to Europe and Asia as you read this.Good for our economy - I think notA favorite claim of the horse slaughter industry was that they were "good for the local economy of the towns in which they exist", and that this local economy would be harmed if they should close.In the city of Kaufman, Texas, people living in a neighborhood near the Dallas Crown horse slaughter plant would beg to differ. While the Dallas Crown horse slaughter plant was in operation their daily life was spent dealing with the problems this plant burdened them with, such as blood backing up into their bathtubs due to the slaughterhouse overwhelming the city's sewer system, rat and vermin infestations, and the stench generated by the plant while it operated. Due to these, and numerous other health code violations the city of Kaufman responded by declaring the plant a nuisance and ordered them to close in 2006. As to economic benefit, the live horse industry contributes far more to the nation's economy than the horse slaughter industry. According to the 2005 American Horse Council (AHC) report the live horse industry contributes $39 billion in direct economic impacts to the US economy. The horse slaughter industry claims a paltry $40 million (roughly 1% of the live horse industry), however most of that profit is siphoned overseas to foreign stakeholders. As far as tax contributions go the live horse industry contributes $1.9 billion; while in comparison, the Dallas Crown Company paid a measly $5 in 2004.Another point is that for years our taxpayer dollars were spent to cover the expense to have a USDA inspector on site in these plants. That's right, our taxpayer dollars were spent to have the USDA inspect a product which is not even sold in our country. Congress voted to stop this in 2005, but due to the efforts of Rep Goodlatte and former Rep Bonilla, it did not go into effect until March of 2006.The deceit and betrayal promulgated by the pro-slaughter sideWhen confronted with the statistics and quotes showing that horse slaughter has nothing to do with horse welfare, the pro-slaughter side really cannot respond properly. They have a PR group which constantly repeats their claims, as if saying them loudly and repetitively enough times makes them somehow true. If that doesn't work it is not beneath them to try and fabricate a story to spread on the newswires, as they have been doing since 2007 in the form of bogus stories of abandoned horses running wild. It just shows the moral depths that they will sink to in an attempt to win.You may remember the spate of newspaper articles on the AP newswire last year claiming that there were abandoned horses running loose. One such article in The Oregonian newspaper quoted an Oregon law enforcement officer regarding nine new cases of abandonment; however when the group Veterinarians for Equine Welfare (VEW) contacted the officer the story he told was quite different than the claims made in the article. It was obvious that the story was a ruse.A similar story in Kentucky which appeared in Spring of 2007 was also exposed as a hoax.Because the pro-horse slaughter apologists have to fabricate stories to make their points, they have no credibility. In other words, I do not believe them when they say that this country needs horse slaughterhouses to "save" horses from neglect.The horse and American cultureIt has been said that the history of the West was written from the saddle of a horse. Without horses, settlement of the West would have been all but impossible since a man on horseback could cover a much greater distance than one on foot. Without horses, wagons, stagecoaches and plows could not have been pulled. Today the horse still continues to be an important part of the American experience; we are thrilled by the prowess of a thoroughbred achieving a Kentucky Derby win, we are awed by the wild freedom of a herd of mustangs thundering across the open range, and we are entertained by horses in film and literature. To this day law enforcement still uses horses to help them with a broad range of duties from crowd control to search-and-rescue situations. Children with mental and physical disabilities have been offered unique support by learning new skills on horseback.Perhaps the best example of America's high regard for horses is Barbaro, the fallen Kentucky Derby winner whose story of hope and tragedy captivated our country. During his fight to recover, Barbaro received a huge outpouring of support from fans across the country. His story touched millions of people.Despite all this, there are people who claim that there is no difference between a horse and a cow. I'd ask these people to consider the Caisson Platoon.This unit of the US Army is in charge of all state funerals, which all former presidents are entitled to. In June of 2004 we saw the horse drawn caisson bearing the flag draped casket of former US President Ronald Reagan make its way along Constitution Avenue to the US Capitol. The caisson was followed by a riderless black horse tacked with an officer's English saddle with ammunition pouch, saber, bridle and riding boots facing backwards in the stirrups. These backwards-facing riding boots are meant to symbolize a fallen leader who will never again lead his troops into battle.To those who state that they don't see the difference between a horse and a cow, I offer up this question: Do you think Mr. Reagan's funeral procession would have had the same kind of dignity if the caisson had been drawn by cows and followed by a riderless pig? I do not think so myself, and I think the most of America would agree with me.ConclusionThe reality of it is this, the AHSPA enjoys wide ranging support in mainstream America as evidenced by the number of co-sponsors this bill has. If our Congress were given the opportunity to vote on this bill, it would pass by a landslide.Despite this strong support, the AHSPA's opponents continue to repeat their hollow claims that they "know what is best" for America's horses while blocking the bill. But when they are challenged with facts, they either ignore them and again repeat themselves or simply do not answer. We need to continue to challenge them and let them know the following: - We know that the horse slaughter industry has no correlation to unwanted horses or horse neglect. USDA statistics and statistics from representatives of the French horsemeat show that the slaughter industry is supplying an increasing overseas demand for horsemeat. - We know that the ban on horse slaughter will not lead to a ban on beef, poultry and pork production. California, Texas and Illinois all have laws on the books banning the horsemeat industry and the people of those states can still go to their local butcher shop to buy tri-tip, pork roast and BBQ chicken. - We know that in America, horses are not regulated as food animals and are routinely treated with products labeled "NOT FOR USE ON ANIMALS RAISED FOR FOOD." There are no safeguards to ensure that the meat from American horses is safe for human consumption. - We know that the horse slaughter industry is not good for the local economy of the areas where they set up shop, just ask the people who reside in the Boggy Bottom area of Kaufman, Texas (the former home of the Dallas Crown horsemeat plant). This self-serving business siphons any profit it realizes overseas. - We know that the pro-slaughter side will say and do anything to make their business look good. The "abandoned horse" stories which were shown to be false are evidence that their Public Relations group will stoop to manipulating the media. - And finally - we know that the horse holds a special place in American culture. Polls show that a majority of Americans oppose horse slaughter taking place on American soil. The AHSPA enjoys strong support in the horse industry in the form of groups such as the Thoroughbred Racing Association and people like Gretchen Jackson, the owner and breeder of Barbaro. The horse slaughter business has never had, nor ever will have a place in the United States. To see a full list of AHSPA supporters, go here. There's an old saying that the truth shall set you free. Those of us who have been fighting and will continue to fight to get the AHSPA passed have no need to fabricate stories since the facts are clearly on our side. They do not lie and they cannot be disputed. As for the pro-slaughter side, they are likely to continue spouting their myths and rhetoric. But they never give a shred of proof to back their claims up, their tactic is to simply repeat their rhetoric as if repeating it enough times makes it somehow true.Our job is simple; to continue spreading the truth about horse slaughter. It is an unnecessary evil which has no place in the United States of America.

My story at Cindra's

2007-02-24T19:19:00.001-06:00

How Women and the Abenakis totem came to be:
( the love story of Cindra and Tom )
I was hiking up a trail near the Kenduskeag River in Maine when I ran across an old man. He was picking wild herbs. His eyes were clear and shining, full of intelligence, and set deeply in the creases of his wizened face. His name, he said, was Nicolas Tomaqoise Miquois. We talked awhile.Then he invited me to his camp a few miles over.
We sat down in his Hodge. Me, in my expensive hiking clothes, the skinny, elderly man in his ragged long john underwear and faded jeans. The quiet spoken Nicolas stirred the embers of his earlier fire with a poker. He blew on the coals lightly. The flames started to dart along a strip of wood. Nicolas pulled a flask out from under a blanket and offered me a drink. He took a sip and then he began to speak softly.

"My people tell the story of how we, the Abenakis, came to be a community over a thousand years ago. There was this bazegw zanoba, one man, his name was Tomaquois-mageso. They say he went high up in the mountains where land meets sky. They say he must have climbed for days like a monkey because no man has climbed it since. It is said that Tomaquois-mageso was full of wisdom . He was a dreamer, a medicine man. Yet he wanted some thing more. This is his story as told by his son to the next son to the next. Such is the way it is done. " He offered me the flask again before he took another sip. Then he continued with his tale.

"One day, long, long ago... I had a dream. I saw myself running. l was a wolf, sniffing the trail as if I was following the scent of a fat rabbit. The path was surrounded by a forest of pine trees. The ground eventually started to get very rocky. Still I ran and I ran. Night came. I slept in a hollowed out tree. I woke up and started running again. I remember thinking that it was not easy to run and run for days. I was thankful that I was not a lazy man. For many days and nights this was so.

Then I came to a ravine. I could not climb around it. I could not climb down.

My body started stretching. I saw myself become a black wild cat. I leaped over the boulders. I trotted up and over the downed trees, my claws digging into the bark. I climbed and scampered across the ground until day became night and night became day again.

Then I came to a body of water. Kci Kuspemokl. I could not climb around it. I could not swim through it.

I felt my body changing. I saw myself become a pigeon hawk. I started to fly across the water. I flew until day became night and night became day. I flew until water became land again.

But, I could not fly up the mountain, Ktotonok. I could not fly that high.

My body started growing. I saw myself become a caribou. I started to run again. I ran until day became night and night became day. I ran until I reached the top of the snow covered mountains.

Then I saw myself. I was a man again. I reached into my leather pouch. I pulled out some of my dried herbs. It is good to rub the powder to cleanse your hands first. Then I made my offerings. To the North and South; to the West and East. I blessed the Mountains; the Waters; the Sky. I thanked the Sun and the Moon.

I chanted as the day turned to night and to day again. I made a contract with my god. I asked him for Behanem, a woman; to love. I would keep her as my own; in my custody. I would name her Cindra - Gizos. One whom lights my many fires. And so it was."

He paused before adding,"That is how women, ladies came to be. That is how the totem pole of the Abenakis came to be with the wolf; the black wild cat; the caribou and the pigeon hawk. "

He paused again as if deep in thought . Then he stated," I am growing old now. I am the last of my people. Perhaps one day you may tell your son this story; my story. This way, my people shall live on forever. "

And so they shall.

New Word Game Started

2007-02-18T19:10:00.001-06:00

OK PEEPS! There's a new game started over at the WEEKLY WORD GAME - ran by Cindra and Mr Fabulous.

GO PLAY!

That said... here's my entry from last week.

He slipped his knife along the frame of the window. A few clicks later he was a shadow sliding inside the house. The time was two am. The moonlight lit a vague path across what appeared to be a computer/library room. He eyed a magazine on the table . Then he snorted lightly at the titles of the articles. Beautiful Social Queen married on Valentines . The Beauty of the yellow Diamond Solitaire. What sort of girls read this crap? However, the titles jutting out in the bookcase above had him chuckling under his breath. Dull Lovers Don't do Obscenities ... Love like a Courtesan.... Monkey Sex - Not just for Monkeys Anymore. Now that was more his style! Pity he couldn't stop and skim through the book. It was dubious that he would remember later.

He edged closer to the door that would lead him to the hallway. Slowly turning the knob, he eased the door slightly open. Then sauntering down the hallway without a murmur he headed for the master bedroom. He knew she lived alone. He always did his homework before he did a job. Elderly people were more likely to be a pain in the neck since they only slept a few hours here and there. Plus the younger ones had more energy.

Her bedroom door was ajar. He gazed in. This moment on the edge excited him. She was sprawled across her bed. Her porcelain limbs playing peek-a-boo with the jumble of rose colored sheets. Her cascade of russet hair a perfect frame for her beautiful, heart shaped face. He was going to enjoy that first moment when she opened her eyes. Her slightly puzzled look. Then the growing awareness; the fear. How her forest green eyes would widen! Her breath would be caught deep in her throat. How his hand would feel covering her trembling lips . He knew he was going to enjoy this night.

He could feel his anticipation growing as he slowly made his way to her bedside. He leaned closer, breath gently fanning across her face. His left hand caressing her face before covering her mouth firmly. His knife held in his right hand, glinted in the darkness . " Shhhh....Don't say a word." he threatened gruffly. "
***********
Fifteen hundred miles away, Madison sat up in bed with a scream" Sara!!!" An expression of horror and disbelief covered her face. Madison's heart, beating a rapid tap dance in her chest. Her gown sweaty; a testimony of her distress. This latest vision implying a murder was about to take place. She picked up her phone and dialed. On the other end of the line, the phone rang and rang. Madison stumbled to the bathroom for her contacts. Her wan heart shaped face evident of a restless night. Her dark green eyes shadowed. Her hair a mess of russet tangles. Madison shuffled back into her bedroom . The clock on the wall read 2:06AM . The quietness broken by the ticking of the clock and the unanswered phone.... still ringing.

Vanilla cream pie with raspberry chocolate topping

2007-02-16T10:54:00.000-06:00

Vanilla pudding - pastry cream

2 C milk
1/2 c white sugar
1 vanilla bean
6 egg yolks
4 Tbles flour
4 Tbles butter

I actually ( having big eyes! ) doubled this recipe except instead of adding more egg yolks I simply added more flour for a thickening agent. Plus I wanted to use it in a pie.

Place milk, 1/4 cup of sugar, vanilla bean in pan and cook over medium heat.
Mix egg yolks with 1/4 cup of sugar until light and fluffy. Add flour. Put 1 cup of the warm milk vanilla mixture into the cold egg/sugar/flour mix. Then put all of the egg mix into the pan. Cook a minute..Remove from heat add butter.

Pour/spoon into graham cracker crust.

For my toppings I melted some Raspberry jam in the microwave for approximately 45 seconds or until melted.
Then I melted half of a cocoa bar ( as in 75% cocoa ) on the stove by placing the bar in a small metal bowl into a pan of hot water.

* I saved the egg whites for cherry Angel foodcake.

ps... I realized it was Friday. Yes, Friday. One would think I'd be aware of these things. I'm still fighting this cold. I've been losing my___ .

Anyway... I'll catch up with you peeps on Monday! I'm calling this weekend an Artistic holiday! Cheers!

This is my story

2007-02-12T06:38:00.001-06:00

I was on my way to the Café Americain the first time I saw her in my neighborhood. She was standing under the revolving barber pole next to Manny's front door. My heart stopped. What a dame! She was was tall and curvy with stems that seemed to shoot down forever. She was wearing an Ivy colored halter dress that sculptured her body like a model from Paris, France. For the record, I don't claim to be no poet but her hair was a mahogany cloud of curls that made my fingers itch. As if her body didn't already. "With gams like that... "I sighed. She was one tall drink of water.

The next night I was back at the club. The regular Joes were playing poker in the back. Smoke wavered through the air like the place was on fire. From the size of the pot it appeared the guys had been playing and drinking throughout the afternoon. There was the usual backstabbing joking going on as O' Malley's paw scooped up the bills and coins as he flushed the others out by laying down three ladies. His protege made some unindicted remarks. The men burst into laughter colored by whiskey and rye. I headed for my table in the corner.

I had just ordered my gin on the rocks when the front door swung open. I casually glanced over and there she was.The dame with a face like an Angel and legs like there was no tomorrow. She was the stuff dreams were made of.

"Was that a minor heart attack, or is it my heart just pounding to smithereens?" I asked myself. In all the schemes of life, what were the chances that she would show up here at this joint? Tonight? The woman that I had been dreaming of all day. All my life for that matter. The feeling of shock must have been universal because within seconds of her entrance every man in the place was struck dumb. Not to say that they were all that smart to begin with. The quietness was surreal.

She strolled across the room like she owned the place. Siding up to the bar, she ordered her drink while she took in the place. As Sacha the bartender placed her glass down ; her eyes met mine. I started to drown.

Sam, the piano man, gave me the nod as he finished belting out "Dat's What Noah Done" before he tickled the ivories into another tune. I went up to the Beauty and drawled out a "Helloooo". Then I asked her to dance.She smiled at me and replied, "I'd like that." We slid on to the dance floor. I couldn't hear the music, simply the beat of my heart drumming.Her scent teased me with its lightness. When the song ended she looked up at me with those baby blues and softly purred, "I'd like more." Without hesitation I called out,"Play it again , Sam!"

Sam started crooning," You must remember this . ..A kiss is just a kiss . A sigh is just a sigh. The fundamental things apply.As time goes by......"

We continued our swaying. I was mesmerized by the blue of her eyes, those luscious lips so close to mine begging for my attention. I was on fire. I was dying. I was going down, down for the count. I was in love. I finally had to ask. "What's a classy act like you doing in a place like this?" "Waiting for You Mr. Fabulous. Waiting for You."

I feel...

2007-02-07T07:16:00.001-06:00

like being naughty! That makes me giggle. Although truly naughty is simply a label that may or may not be true - depending on one's view of naughty, right?

Naughty or not? Here I go!!!!

Flashing...
Mooning...
Dancing in the road..
all terrible things
or so I've been told...

Flying a kite
without any clothes
Who's to say
where my modesty
goes?

Chocolate is fine
covering
my skin...
somehow it travels...
my tummy's
full of sin

Like a sip of wine?
Have a drop
from my navel...
time to get moving
when....

I giggle....
shhhh....

Norah Jones...

2006-12-30T06:58:00.000-06:00

Snack???

2006-12-20T06:53:00.000-06:00

My brother's idea of a burger.

Skating...

2006-12-08T07:48:00.000-06:00

I've been roller skating a bit here and there lately. I started learning last year.I took a bad fall about 3 weeks ago and stayed off the skates til yesterday. What amazes me is the comments people make.

1) Aren't you afraid you are going to fall?

umm... no I'm afraid it's going to hurt though! lol..

2) Have you fallen yet? You've seen me skate....What do you really think?

3) Isn't that dangerous? Dangerous? You should see me pissed off!

4) I think that is ridiculous! Did I ask for your opinion???

5) You're too old to be skating! WTF??? I don't need YOUR limits, thank you!

I really find a lot of peeps sad.. they are way old before their time. Me? I'm going to keep on being me and having fun!

Poor B'stard's Cousin

2006-12-07T04:46:00.000-06:00

My beautiful beta died today. I cried. I've had him over a couple of years now... I named him Poor Bastard's Cousin after my older daughter's beta. Her fish was named Poor Bastard because she'd forget to feed him. My beta had a choice of three different types of food. He had his blood worms which were his favorite. Then the red smelly flake fish food that alway reminds me of Germany ( the first place I owned fish ) Then there were these little balls of pellet type feed that he occasionally would eat but mostly disdained . I was going to post his picture but they are on the other computer. PBC had a fun loving personality. He'd always swim to the top for my brother. But with me ,he'd occasionally pretend he couldn't see me. I used to say ..We have rules PBC! You shall swim when I come see you so I know you are alright! He'd languidly and gracefully turn with a surprised look as if to say, "I dinna see you there, worm feeder!" Other times he'd rush over , pause to say "Hello mate!" ; then zoom off to do his laps. Although sometimes I think he called me other names! He had the longest tail that anyone had ever seen. I just wanted to say" Goodbye Poor Bastards Cousin and thank you for so many hours of zen pleasure."

Los Flores de mi familia.

2006-11-24T12:16:00.000-06:00

Bad Business Practices.

2006-11-19T08:04:00.000-06:00

I've shopped at Classic Closeout for a year...almost two.. I've never had a bad experience. This last time I did. I also wrote a negative feedback on the products the company sent me.

"I was really disappointed with the swim suits - they look like they were made for a 5 - 8 year old. Great if all you want is a couple of band-aids. I did not think that they were made very well . The big girl's blue sweat shirt arrived bagged - yet has a stain. The panties appear fine. The little girls night dresses are very soft and cute-hence the 2 stars-first time I rate CC lower than a 4 or 5"

Dear Katie,

Thank you for your recent ClassicCloseouts.com Amazon purchase. It has been brought to my attention that you were not satisfied with some of the items that you received. Concerning the item that you reported having a stain, I have arranged for return instructions to be sent to you via e-mail. As an apology for this situation, I would like to offer you a coupon good towards $10 off of your next purchase of any amount at www.ClassicCloseouts.com. Before I send you this coupon code, I just ask that you remove the negative feedback left with Amazon.com. Once this feedback has been removed, please let me know and I will send you your $10 coupon.
Once again, I apologize for any inconvenience this situation has caused and thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

Josh
ClassicCloseouts.com
[ ClassicCloseouts.com Virus Scanned ]

My Reply?

Josh,

What's the difference between your offer and a bribe?

Here's the reality, my word is worth more than $10. Thanks but no thanks. While I appreciate the fact that you "tried" in your own way to make good on selling me a defective item. ... It would take more time and effort than it's worth to send it back - I'll simply donate it to a secondhand shop along with all the other items I bought from CC that are totally useless. I can always find another place to shop. The ironic fact is I would more than likely have continued shopping at Classic Closeout - at least giving the company another shot.. until this email.

I dinna even get to say the sleep wear was already unraveling at the hem on Kayli's! Then I would have had to pay for shipping on everything - and they wanted each article packaged separately. Plus authorized individually by them.

Going Walkabout..

2006-11-16T07:53:00.000-06:00

In the days long past I would simply disappear for a bit.. that's known as a walkabout. My longest walkabout took me through the States of Texas, AZ, Nevada, CA, WA, ID,UT, OR and MT.. that was a 30+ day trip ( I never returned so it was actually 6 years..lol...before they saw me again ). That was before I had horses. My trips generally are about me, searching for balance and harmony within. Sometimes though I just want to get away for a bit, away from computers, tvs,phones , radios, ok... lol.. civilization.... Occasionally on other trips I simply start walking and go wherever my feet and my horses take me. We've been through parts of the Andaconda Pintler Wilderness; we've gone through Hoodoo Pass in ID... so many Lakes and dirt roads.... to trails only the deer travel on. So many areas of wilderness to embrace. My dogs accompany me . There we are.. three horses, 2 dogs now.. and me. I was thinking perhaps we could go camping... lots of fresh grass to graze.. go pick pecans for a couple of days.

I'm simply tired... and as odd as this may sound - I miss myself. I want to hear myself think without interruption. I want to relax and watch the clouds roll by. I want and I need this - even if it is only for a few days. I need solitude to bathe my soul and refresh me once again.

I may or may not pop online in the morning.. so no worries! Catch up with you all by and by! Hugs!
with love and light always, Katie

Cindra's Monday games

2006-11-14T07:52:00.005-06:00

Every Monday Cindra has a game. She posts her blog with 18 words underlined throughout. The deadline closes on Tuesday around midnight or so ( read the weekly rules for any changes) . I found this to be fun and interesting. The truth is that "games" like this help one stretch in new directions by asking one to focus on a particular facet . This was my entry in the first game I entered. The winners were Tall Chick and Tina , but I thought all the writers did well and had a lovely time playing! The readers vote for the story they like most. Anyone can vote. Anyone can post a story, a poem, lyrics, whatever - as long as one uses the 18 words. The next game starts Monday. Go see. Go vote. Come back and play!

The first time I met grandpa's friend Mr C was back in November . That was the same year my mother ran off with that slick- shit as my grandpa used to say. Mr.C likes to talk a lot. He was taller than my grandpa and still had some hair... although it was white and thin. He is always smiling, laughing.. and talking.

My grandpa was taking in his "baby" for an alignment. He owned a Ford truck he had bought in 1946. Once when my grandpa was sick; my mom painted the sides silver and a sort of salmonberry colour. My art teacher called it a mosaic style. The truck looked kinda funny though... like a lot of birds pooped on it... People used to gawk at us when we drove the car down the back roads of Oregon. Sometimes we drove down Highway 101 a bit... following the twist of the Pacific Crest Trail ; find a place to have a picnic while grandpa fished. I'd lie down in the grass and watch the clouds.... and wonder what my mother was doing. And where she was now. Or read a book.

But I digress. My name is Sugar. My grandpa said my mother was a beatnik. First because she named me Sugar. Second because he never really forgave her for painting his "baby". And third, because she ran off with a charismatic salesman after daddy died. ... leaving me behind with Grandpa on the farm. Grandpa used to say "Well it doesn't take brain surgery to figure out that your mum ate too many mushrooms when she worked out in the fields. She never did use the sense that she was born with" I still think he missed her though because he was always saying things like that. "Life is full of crap .. and then you have mushrooms." Or my personal favorite... " Don't judge a man by the ass he keeps." For some reason that always made me giggle.. which made my grandpa hysterical,

Anyway, back to Mr C. He lives alone. Grandpa said it was because he liked his solitude. Personally, I think he liked being the only cock near the hen house. He had a lot of women baking him cookies and cake and things. Sometimes he'd bring me some of the cookies. I never did learn how to bake cookies so I always enjoyed eating them. Mr C was very funny. He used to tell me stories about my grandpa and him when they were young.... and about all the trouble they'd get into.

Sometimes when my grampa is grumbling about my mom..I simply tell him , "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." I learned that from Mr. C . Like I said, he talks a lot!

Irish Proverbs

2006-11-09T07:03:00.000-06:00

A drink precedes a story.

A friend's eye is a good mirror.

A hen is heavy when carried far.

A hound's food is in its legs.

A lock is better than suspicion.

A silent mouth is melodious.

A trade not properly learned is an enemy.

Age is honorable and youth is noble.

As the big hound is, so will the pup be.

Be neither intimate nor distant with the clergy.

Both your friend and your enemy think you will never die.

Even a small thorn causes festering.

Good as drink is, it ends in thirst.

He who comes with a story to you brings two away from you.

He who gets a name for early rising can stay in bed until midday.

If you do not sow in the spring you will not reap in the autumn.

If you want to be criticized, marry.

Instinct is stronger than upbringing.

It is a bad hen that does not scratch herself. ( ha-ha I agree! )

It is a long road that has no turning.

It is better to exist unknown to the law.

It is not a secret if it is known by three people.

It is sweet to drink but bitter to pay for.

It is the good horse that draws its own cart.

It is the quiet pigs that eat the meal.

It takes time to build castles. Rome wan not built in a day.

It's not a matter of upper and lower class but of being up a while and down a while.

Lack of resource has hanged many a person.

Listen to the sound of the river and you will get a trout.

May you have a bright future - as the chimney sweep said to his son.

Mere words do not feed the friars.

Nature breaks through the eyes of the cat.

Necessity is the mother of invention.

Necessity knows no law.

Need teaches a plan.

Patience is poultice for all wounds.

Youth does not mind where it sets its foot.

You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.

People live in each other's shelter.

Put silk on a goat, and it's still a goat.

Quiet people are well able to look after themselves.

The day will come when the cow will have use for her tail.

The hole is more honorable than the patch.

The light heart lives long.

The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot.

The mills of God grind slowly but they grind finely.

The raggy colt often made a powerful horse.

The smallest thing outlives the human being.

The wearer best knows where the shoe pinches.

The well fed does not understand the lean.

The work praises the man.

The world would not make a racehorse of a donkey.

There is hope from the sea, but none from the grave.

There is no fireside like your own fireside.

There is no luck except where there is discipline.

There is no need like the lack of a friend.

There is no strength without unity.

Thirst is the end of drinking and sorrow is the end of drunkenness.

Three diseases without shame: Love, itch and thirst.

Time is a great story teller.

Two shorten the road.

Two thirds of the work is the semblance.

Walk straight, my son - as the old crab said to the young crab.

When a twig grows hard it is difficult to twist it. Every beginning is weak.

When fire is applied to a stone it cracks.

When the apple is ripe it will fall.

When the drop (drink) is inside, the sense is outside.

When the liquor was gone the fun was gone.

Wine divulges truth.

You cannot make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

You must live with a person to know a person. If you want to know me come and live with me.

Youth sheds many a skin. The steed (horse) does not retain its speed forever.

mememe...5 favorite 5 's

2006-11-06T08:44:00.000-06:00

5 favorite desserts :

German chocolate cake
Chocolate mousse
lime cheesecake
gingersnaps
chocolate chips ( but not in the cookies...lol)

5 favorite veggies

raw spinach
cooked broccoli
red peppers
jalepenos, serranos, etc
cooked carrots

5 favorite fruits

mangos
kiwi
bananas
strawberries
peaches

5 favorite beverages

water
soy milk
orange juice
coffee
various teas

5 favorites meals

homemade veggie pizza
tofu smoothies
pbjs
grilled cheese sandwiches with jalepenos
bean and cheese burritos

Becoming more...

2006-11-01T18:37:00.000-06:00

Through growth we become more. We grow through our experiences, through our lessons; regardless of how we feel about the events. By being aware of ourselves, our thoughts, our feelings we can become more. It is through our choices that we grow. Choose your path wisely. Choose to embrace all that brings light, love and laughter into your world. Without evolution we will continue to stay on the same path... to become stagnate. Enrich your life through exploring.. explore yourself, your feelings; your thoughts, your gifts... and then share all that is possible. Express your feelings; your thoughts. The best gift is one's self shared in a good way. Be more. Share more. Love more. Evolve. Be. And Celebrate the gift of being.

Translation Guide for Women ~ Refresher

2006-09-09T18:12:00.000-05:00

"I'M GOING FISHING"
Translated: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by the ocean with a stick in my hand while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you, as a woman, have no chance at all of making it logical".

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY", OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the year/make and model of every vehicle I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS - IT'S JUST A CUT, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before admitting that it hurts or that I did it to myself."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "I looked in one likely spot and it didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless where it is. I need you to use your intra-uterine radar and find it for me."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 hours yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse." ...also... "But I would probably have sex with almost anyone between the ages of 18 and 50."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, Goodness, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving and have to pee."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "It's possible that no one will ever see us alive again."

I'm a sucker....

2006-08-23T12:05:00.000-05:00

for a lot of things.....

kids
animals
friends
old folks
various causes
sense of humor
intelligence
chocolate
sex outside

but mostly I think I'm a sucker for being needed. Yeah... lol.. that's a result of being a throw away I think.. not to be confused with being a throwback ( yet I'm both...) .
So J calls me about a J.O.B. I call him back a week or so later - not really in a hurry to go back to work in this relentless heat...besides I have lots to do around the house; with the horses, etc. since I've been gone.
"So, when do you want to start,"he asks.
"Ohh, whenever the next schedule comes out is fine."
Silence. I gather that's the wrong answer! lmao...
OK.. mmm"Friday." ... silence... then an "Alright."from him.
I laughed and asked , "When do you need me to come in? "
"Weeks ago...."
"OK... tomorrow then. I'll see at 11."
So.. here I am... on my last day of freedom... contemplating why I said yes...... Sucker that I am! lol....

Butterflies never lie....

2006-05-03T09:47:00.000-05:00

Butterflies never lie. Butterflies represent change; they are infused with the motivation of planting ideas and thoughts. They plant the seeds. Although they may not appear to have much focus in their lives - butterflies do exactly what they are intended to do. Butterflies carry messenges from the Ancestors. Butterflies suggest new ways of thinking; new paths to follow.
Lately I have been surrounded by butterflies. I can sense that change is in the air. While I can embrace changes I choose to make quite easily ( in what often apppears to be a random though process...lol.. or the throw of the dart, dice, what have you. ) I am not above screaming and growling at the changes life brings me - when despite my best intentions life gets in my way. I have those moments. Like most everyone, I enjoy it when the path I am on goes in the direction of my choosing. Sometimes though, despite the choices that we make ( based on the total sum of our own personal knowledge ... and/or perhaps a bit of advice from others... ) we end up on a path that has changed... changed direction, changes shape...and the path turns into another lesson or a set of life challenges.
So ... here I am..... mulling over the latest changes... contemplating the best choices.... so I can get from where I am... to where I believe I want and need to be. I shall take into consideration that there are promises that I have made that need to be fulfilled. I know that regardless of how I feel ; my plans will not necessarily go smoothly. I am one that likes a back up plan... lol... . I'm trying to map all the events that need to be set into place so I can decide on a time frame. Because ... no matter what I may have thought concerning the path ( holding pattern ) I was on... my life is about to change. Butterflies never lie.

Men...

2006-03-26T19:32:00.000-06:00

lie. It's a simple fact . I could just as easily say women lie. Men and women lie about the same thing - for different reasons.Some Men lie because they want sex ( I love you, I'm not married; living with anyone .You're beautiful....) Women often lie so they can get out of having sex ( I'm having my period. I have a headache. I'm tired. ) . Both sexes lie about money ... how much they do or do not have... how much they need... spent...make... Some peeps simply lie about everything. There are no absolutes.

Oddly ( or maybe not...lol... ) It was a man that taught me about having a stash of cash. Although my mum did email me once and it stated that every women should have a few thousand in their personal savings so they could rent their own house or move at a moment's notice. I subscribe to both theories.
So, I met this Honduran guy some months ago through the J.O.B. We chatted there a few times a week. I finally accepted a ride home from him. He said he was unmarried. On the ride home he told me he was 33 when I asked. I wasn't thrilled about the age difference ( yeah I know it shouldn't matter but it often does! lol... he looked a bit older than that!!.). My older daughter said that as long as " the man in my life" was older than my son-n-laws it was ok. But not to get seriously involved. Uh - huh... lol... Anyway, we chatted and he dropped me off and that was that.

He said he'd call me today. He didn't..but he showed up univited. My dogs are always on duty . I heard them warning me of an intruder. No worries. I walk out to the gate with a chainsaw in my hand. I'm getting ready to cut down some more trees/branches. . He looks as me and asks in a slightly astonished voice "You're going to use that?" ( ummm..that's the whole point of having a chainsaw.... ) . So.. we stand there with the fence in between us.. while he tries to explain... He's not a cheat . OK.... lol. ( it truly sounded like he said I'm not a shit with his accent..).After 3 times and me breaking out in giggles ( he glared and I apologized while I fought off more giggles ) we switched to Spanish although we speak different dialects. He goes on to tell me that he has a 2 year old daughter.. uh-huh... My questions ," Where does she live ? Where's the mum?" Turns out he lives with the mum and his daughter ( the roommates he referred to? lol ) but we could be friends. He's being honest because in his words "You are a good woman."

No... lol.. we can't be friends ! Not just because he lied..but also because I refuse to be the " other woman" for anyone . Don't get me wrong.. I have male friends that are single and others that are married. But they do not lie about their relationships nor lie about me. My friend Steve jokes that we have been friends so long because we've never dated. I happen to agree with him. I do not like his current girlfriend so I don't hear as much from him. However, we are still friends. I've now been Bear's friend longer than his first marriage lasted ( and I'll probably out last his second marriage .) .

Anyway, Jorje was the second man to lie to me today. He actually did not upset me at all. As far as Jorje goes... I have no emotion or time invested in him. That makes a difference.

Regardless of the reason , I'd rather hear " I don't want to talk about it at this time." than a point blank lie. Sometimes though.. peeps lie to themselves. I refuse to enable them. Sometimes we simply have to let go... say I love you ...and walk away....

Earlier in the day a man beat a 24 year old woman and threw her across the car into the street. Fortunately her month old baby was elsewhere. I get the call. Unfortunately, in this case there is not much one can do... offer help .. money, a safe place... an ear... but what I hear is very common. " It will be ok. All I have to do is be quiet. If I don't say a word, everything will be ok. He says it's my fault. I simply need to be quiet. I pushed him into it. It was my fault. I need to learn... "
That misconception always breaks my heart. It will only be ok until the next time. Who knows how far he will go ? What will happen if the baby is there with them? Did she pick up the baby; take the money and run? Or eventually go back home? Time will tell... hopefully before it is too late.

So yeah... while men and women both lie to others... it's often worse if one lies to one's self.

Where did my serranos go? yesterday afternoon..

2006-02-27T09:09:00.000-06:00

Current mood: oddly amused at myself...

I love peppers. It's true. Jalepeno, serrano, poblano, even habenero... in the right dosages/combos. I just made myself an omelet. I love colours so you know it has green onions, black olives, red peppers and ... an orange habenero ... simply because all of my serranos diappeared...and sharp cheddar cheese... lol... I think my brother was here recently. Wow!! This omelet is spicy! ok... not my first choice of pepper for my eggs.. but it works... I can breathe like never before... this is even hotter than my Mooses' chili... wow! lol...

This is be kind to myself day... lol.. the sun is shining, my critters are well and sassy. I feel oddly unburdened.... all the ranting and bitchin out of the way for the week...the month. I can see why they say confession is good for the soul...lol...
Am I going to make any friends here? I'm not sure. Fortunately, despite my flaws, I like myself. I enjoy my own company... perhaps too much...lol.... communication plays a big part of my job ... which can be lots of fun ( although it hasn't lately and.. despite winning the city employee award of the month? for ? going out of my way??? lol ( who said it was out of my way! ??) and the money... I'm wondering why I'm still there..). I enjoy coming home to solitude. I guess if I had lived with my last explaymate my lifestyle would have been different... It's not that I would not have embraced the changes but he wasn't ready.

Why do we keep trying? Is that facet a part of our evolution? Do we truly need to have another in our lives? Or are we conditioned to believe so? I've gone years solo. By choice. I've enjoyed being alone and being with another. .it is all good. I simply wonder if we ever get the "dance" right?

Despite the bumps.. life is the best game around. Living...being.. embracing.... with love, light and laughter.

Enjoy!
ps..my g/f just came over in tears.. man troubles ( actually his ex is the problem.. and the b/f's inability to play hardball... I offered her a patch but she wants to keep him... lol.. so I gave her a hug and listened. Now we are heading to town to buy a candle???? lol)

Picadillo Tacos

2006-02-07T21:48:00.001-06:00

Picadillo Tacos

1/2 Cup Raisins
1/4 Cup Tequila
2 Tbl Sugar
1/2 Lb Bulk pork sausage
1 Tsp cinnamon, Ground
1/2 Lb beef, Ground
1/4 Tsp cumin, Ground
1 Medium Onion, chopped
1 Dash cloves, Ground
3 Cloves garlic, minced
12 7' flour tortillas
1 Can (14 1/2 oz) whole tomatoes
1/3 Cup Pecans, finely chopped
-cut up, UNDRAINED
Shredded lettuce, optional
1 Can (4 oz) green chili, Diced
In a small saucepan, combine raisins and tequila. Bring to boiling; remove from heat. Let stand for 5 minutes. For filling: In a large skillet cook sausage, beef, onion, and garlic over medium heat till meat is brown. Drain off fat. Stir in undrained raisins, undrained tomatoes, green chili peppers, sugar, cinnamon, cumin and cloves. Bring to boiling; reduce heat. Simmer, uncovered for about 30 minutes or until most of the liquid is evaporated. Meanwhile, wrap tortillas in foil. Heat in a 350 oven for 10 minutes or until warm. Stir pecans into meat misture. To serve, top warm tortillas with lettuce, then filling. Fold or roll up. Makes 6 main dish servings.

I like more raisins.. tequila....jalepenos...lol... not that I eat this... anymore..but it tastes great!

Tuesday's twofer... Chili - before and after

2006-02-07T07:24:00.000-06:00

The Moose's chili

5-7 lbs of ground hamburger/elk/venison/turkey (whatever ground best you like)
3-4 tbls of garlic chopped
1 medium to large onion diced

Brown the above in large skillet.

3 cans dark kidney beans (drain)
3 cans light kidney beans (drain)
3-4 cans black beans (drain)
4 cans whole kernal sweet corn (drain)
2-3 large cans of diced tomatos (either plain or pick your favorite flavor, I like the basil garlic ones) (Don't drain)
One carton fresh mushrooms
One large can tomato sauce
3 cans chopped green chiles (don't drain)
1/2 bottle of chili powder (to taste)
4 packages of chili seasoning (McCormick, Hyvee brand, whatever)
2 tbls Italian seasoning
2-3 bay leaves
3 cans of Diet Coke with Lime
1/2 to 3/4 bag of dark brown sugar
1 tbls dry mustard

************************************************************************************
Mine...went like this...lol...

Take a cup or so of each of the dry beans ~ red, kidney and black. Rinse well.
Throw in the crockpot with water, bit of salt, 3 cloves of garlic, a medium onion. Cook... add 3 - 4 of those big red dried peppers , 2 jalepenos... 3 banana peppers... a red bell pepper, can of sweet corn - drained, large can of diced tomatoes undrained, a can of diet coke... squeeze in a lime ...3Tbles Italian seasoning.. chili powder, 2 tbles of hot mustard, 3 Tbles of Southwestern mustard...handful of brown sugar.....cook ..simmer...think that was it...lol... needed a couple more jalepenos.. or maybe serranos ...

I do have another chili recipe that was a bit like this that I liked as well... somewhere in my hand written notes... sometimes I like to use 6 pepper seasoning...

Return often...

2006-02-02T06:31:00.000-06:00

"Return often and take me, beloved sensation, return and take me ~ when memory of the body awakens, and old desire again runs through the blood; when the lips and skin remember, and the hands feel as if they touch again." ~ C.P. Cavafy (1863 - 1933)

The Invitation ~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Indian Elder

2006-01-31T22:25:00.000-06:00

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for,and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul, if you can be faithless and therefore be trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it's not pretty,every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon," Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

- Oriah Mountain Dreamer,Indian Elder

The Path

2006-01-28T03:45:00.000-06:00

* * *

If we look at the path, we do not see the sky.We are earth people on a spiritual journey to the stars.Our quest, our earth walk, is to look within, to know who we are,to see that we are connected to all things, that there is no separation, only in the mind.

-Native American, source unknown

2006-01-20T05:39:00.000-06:00

Sky melds with water
as the day drifts into sleep
greets night in passing.

No more waxing at the Y ~ my lost post

2006-01-19T17:19:00.000-06:00

I decided to wax my body again because I love the way my skin feels afterwards. Plus I don't have to shave for quite some time. So I intended to wax my brows, armpits, arms, legs, etc. It all went fairly well ( ok.. lol. my right arm pit was a bit painful ) . Normally ,when I shave in the summer, I shave every day. Or every other day. It's a ritual thing from the old ways. Now, in the winter, I have to remind myself to shave because I rarely wear shorts or dresses. Or maybe it is because I'm usually in an office or place of business and not outside roaming in the sunshine.
So there I am... thinking about how oddly erotic waxing can be in a slightly painful way.... when it became time to wax at the Y... my hair was fairly short so no worries there. I started at the edge of my inner thigh. OMG, the pain! LOL it came from the first and last strip of my inner thigh....STOP! STOP! Stooooooop!

It was at that time that I recalled Bear sending me a joke a few months ago about a girl going to beauty college and waxing herself . I remember lmao ... as well as recalling the first time my legs were waxed1000 years ago ( took hair, skin and almost everything from there to the bone! lol.. ok so I exaggerate a teensy bit! but the blood flowed and I couldn't wear my cowgirl boots!...)

Anyway, you'd have thought someone bit me a multiple # of times.. or gave my inner thigh hickies all the way down... looked like a river of blood ran underneath my skin...all I have to say is it freaking hurt! So... til my bruises and my memory fades..I'm going to say no more waxing at the Y! Pass me my straight razor , please! Sometimes, the old ways are best!

2006-01-19T07:12:00.000-06:00

For winter's rains and ruins are over,
And all the seasons of snow and sins;
The days dividing lover and lover,
The light that loses, the night that wins;
And time remembered is grief forgotten,
And frosts are slain and flowers begotten,
And in green underwood and cover
Blossom by blossum the spring begins.

from Atalanta in Calydon
Algernon Charles Swinburne

why vegetarian ?

2006-01-10T06:00:00.000-06:00

I choose not to eat meat, poultry, fish. That is a personal choice based on my own personal reasons. Yet, if I was going to eat meat... I would eat elk, deer, bear, antelope and moose. But , "Wait..." you say... "that is still meat. What's the difference? Meat is still meat!"

On one hand you would be right. Yet, the differences are there... and show up in the flesh.

You have just dined,
and however scrupulously the slaughterhouse is concealed
in the graceful distance of miles,
there is complicity.

Ralph Waldo Emerson "Fate", The Conduct of Life, 1860

"In the US we have big corporations that raise a lot of our meat... be it beef, poultry or pork. These animals are contained in lots, in pens; where space is a premium. These animals are kept together in cramped quarters; they often live in their feces, have unmedicated sores or other health problems, or live in cages that are stacked cage upon cage. They often live with a dead animal or two as well. Babies are weaned very early... either headed for an early death or a cage with others the same age. Animals are fed hormone- and antibiotic-fortified feed. How healthy is that for them... or for you?

The vast majority of meat, milk, and eggs in America comes from factory farms, which hardly resembles bucolic family farms many Americans envision their food comes from. Instead, they are part of ‘agribusiness,’ where animals are mass produced for the slaughter house. And in the agribusiness, financial profitability takes priority over treating animals humanely."

U.S. Congressman Jim Moran (VA), 5/20/03

Then there is the trip to the slaughter house... where animals are crammed into trailers... and only the strongest survive the trip. The weak end up as bloody masses on the trailer floor. One time, I saw this double decker trailer full of horses heading to slaughter , over turn. Have you ever heard a horse scream in pain? A foal neighing in panic only to be drowned out by the rest of the horses scrambling to get to their feet? How many broken legs? It did not really matter since as long as they had 3 they could still stand til they arrived at the slaughter house. Animals are shot in the head with a bolt that is suppose to stun them. Stun them? Maybe... but it sure doesn't stop them from feeling... horses are raised up... tied by their back leg.... throats slashed.

Captive bolt stunning – A “pistol” is set against the animal’s head and a metal rod is thrust into the brain. Shooting a struggling animal is difficult, and the rod often misses its mark.

Electric stunning – Current produces a grand mal seizure; then the throat is cut. According to industry consultant Temple Grandin, PhD, “Insufficient amperage can cause an animal to be paralyzed without losing sensibility.”

Ritual slaughter – Animals are fully conscious when their carotid arteries are cut. This is supposed to cause unconsciousness within seconds, but because of blood flow through the vertebral arteries in the back of the neck, some animals can remain conscious as they bleed for up to a minute. Additionally, Temple Grandin, PhD notes “Unfortunately, there are some plants which use cruel methods of restraint such as hanging live animals upside down.” This can cause broken bones as the heavy animal hangs by a chain attached to one leg.

Each year, large numbers of chickens, turkeys, ducks, and geese reach the scalding tanks alive and are either boiled to death or drowned. How clean is that scalding water? Are they in there long enough to truly kill the germs? *

So what is the difference between domesticated animals and wild game?

Wild game lives in a natural state of being. They are not force fed drugs. They are not living their whole lives in nasty environments, or tortured on the path to death. Hunters generally shoot them and that's that. I know some hunters occasionally need to take a couple of shots. But, they do not drag out the killing. Unlike some of the people who upon slaughtering cows... often find the cows to be alive when their legs are being cut off. Good hunters are humane. And the telling difference? Is in the taste and smell of the meat.

The question is not,
Can they reason? nor,
Can they talk? but,
Can they suffer?

Jeremy Bentham, An Introduction to the Principles of Morals & Legislation, 1789

*Why vegan

Q.O.D.

2005-12-29T06:51:00.001-06:00

Try to understand Silence - it's worth listening to.